A bit of a shock.

Hi, it's me Nichole. I will probably be doing most of the blogging for now. I thought it would be the best way to keep everyone who is interested in Jim's progress up to date. We would like to say thank you for your concern, interest, support, prayers, and most importantly, your love. We have been so blessed with WONDERFUL people in our lives. We are very humbled and deeply grateful.

We have only known about Jim's condition a little over a month now. Feb. 3rd was the day, to be exact, that we initially found out that Jim had a serious problem and that in fact, he did have a tumor in his stomach. He had been having abdominal pain on and off for about six months, but it would not last, it would come and go with no rhyme or reason to pinpoint. Then the last week in Jan he had severe pain and nausea that would not let up. After about of week of pain and me telling him he needs to go to the Dr, he finally went. (He is so stubborn sometimes.) The Dr. knew right away that something was brewing and sent him to the hospital for a cat scan. After the cat scan the radiologist told us the Dr. wanted us to go back to his office to talk to him. That was not a good sign. We kind of knew at that moment that it was going to be something more than we thought. Up until that time, we were thinking appendicitis or kidney stone.

When Jim and I got back to the doctor's office he told Jim that he had a "pedunculated stromal tumor in his stomach and it was quite large". Say what? What does that mean? How long has it been there? What do we do? We had so many questions. All he could tell us was that we need to learn what it consists of and that it had been growing for awhile and that Jim should eat softer foods. He never mentioned the word cancer, and we didn't dare let it leave our lips to even ask. He then referred us to a gastroenterologist that accepted our insurance. They could not see him until the following week. It sounded like a lifetime. Before we left I asked the Dr. to please write down on a piece of paper what the radiologist told him and the medical terms so we wouldn't forget once we got home. He wrote: Pedunculated
Mass- Stromal
Tumor-Stomach

To see the words MASS and TUMOR was very scary to me.

As we walked out of the office I felt a little shocked, numb and disbelieving. My head was spinning with so many thoughts, ones I did not want to entertain. I am not sure exactly how Jim was feeling, he really didn't say. He just wanted to get out of his pain.

As soon as we got home I went straight to the computer to research. What I found was not exactly what I wanted to read. I learned that those words written on that paper probably more than likely meant cancer and a rare form (only 4,000-6,000 cases per yr. in the U.S.) of stomach cancer called GIST. It is a sarcoma cancer that is a cancer of the connective tissues. So, this cancer is in his stomach and probably in the muscle of the stomach, not the lining.

When the appointment for the GI doctor finally rolled around, things didn't go so well. They gave us to the nurse practitioner and she could not answer one single question. In fact, she told us that "she would be hard pressed to find any doctor in the state of Utah that had ever seen GIST". We walked out of there feeling a bit discouraged.

Back to the internet I went, thank goodness for the internet! I did some more research and found that the Huntsman Cancer Institute, right here in good ole Utah has specialists that do see GIST patients and quite a few of them. They are the only hospital in the Intermountain West that treats sarcomal cancers, GIST being one of them. There was a phone number on the website, so I called. They were so great on the phone, so kind and helpful and they got him an appointment the following week for an endoscopy with ultra sound and a biopsy. I was thinking he would be on a waiting list. I was so happy and a bit relieved. I really knew at that moment that he was going to get the help he needed. I was surprised, because I am always a bit cynical and very skeptical about doctors, but I felt a sense of calmness at that point. Jim also seemed relieved to be going there. One step closer in his mind to be getting out of pain and to move forward.

Jim had the endoscopy on Feb. 14th. Yes, that's right, Valentine's Day. Nothing says I love you like a day spent waiting for your loved one in the hospital.....no really, nothing does. It went well. Dr. Adler was the doctor who performed the procedure. He told us that the tumor was larger than they had suspected from the cat scan and that it was in fact, the size of a softball or a grapefruit (however you choose to visualize). That was a shock. No one had ever described the actual visual size. In my mind I thought walnut size at the most. A softball, wow, I wasn't prepared, neither was Jim. The next step (there are many steps I have found), was to wait for the biopsy report to come back. A week is how long we would wait and the doctor told us we should know if it is malignant or not and much more info. That week drug by. We did keep busy, we have two kids and both work, after all, but it still went by slowly. Jim is much more patient than I am. He takes it all in stride better than I do. The doctor called early in the morning and of course Jim was at work when he talked to him. According to Jim the Dr. said they didn't get enough tissue, and they couldn't tell positively if for sure malignant, but it had spindle cells that is indicitive of GIST. He was forwarding him to the oncologist and surgeon. We wouldn't know more about the tumor and the mitotic rate (growth rate), etc until it comes out and they can test it properly. That for me was a real let down. To me, only speaking for me, I felt the biopsy was all for nothing really, we didn't know anything more. Jim, of course, in great Jim fashion, brushed it off and said "peaks and valleys, we have to get used to it, don't get too upset." Man, I felt stupid and selfish at that moment for getting upset about it, I should be the encourager, not the upset one. He's the one with the illness, not me. I want to be more like Jim. I really, really do.

Well another week or so passed and he had the appointment with both the oncologist and surgeon on the same day. I went with him. I had a big list of questions, of course. It was a long day, but a good day. Good because we really liked the doctor's, both very knowledeable, experienced, and kind with a great bedside manner. (Not always the case. ) Long, because of my list of questions, not really, well, kind of, but it was a lot of info to digest. They are highly convinced that it is GIST (cancer) and that it is considered "large".


So, that brings us to the next step.....surgery. It is scheduled for March 25th. We were told that the surgery itself can take anywhere from 3-5 hours. They will have to take part of his stomach, they are not sure how much yet, and they are not exactly sure how they will re route his stomach to his digestive system, meaning enough tissue left to reconnect to the duodendum or re route to the small intestine. His hospital stay could be anywhere from 3-10 days. The total recovery time could be anywhere from 3-6 mos. Everyone is different. The incision will be from his sternum down to his navel (quite large). It will be pretty sexy, I'm sure once it's healed. I do like a good scar on a man, kind of rugged. haha....

So we are gearing ourselves up, as much as one can, for the surgery. We sort of know what to expect, but really, we don't. Jim just says...."bring it!" He wants to move on with it. Me, well I worry about him. I hope for the best. I am on my knees in prayer a lot. I want the best for him always. I love him after all. He's my best friend. Nothing feels real until I share it with him first. He's the first person I see in the morning, the last person I see before I close my eyes at night. The one person on this earth that knows me the best...the good, the bad, and the ugly sides and chooses to love me anyway.

We have a long road ahead of us. Stay tuned.....